Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. (Matthew 6: 1-4)

OK, come on, admit it with me.  You make a post about cool things going on in your life, then you go back multiple times to see how many likes you’ve accumulated.  (Guilty, Your Honor.)  To complicate matters, some of those entries are about “good deeds” you’ve done and which also brought you satisfaction.  No problem with getting satisfaction from doing the right thing, and I understand about posting things that are meaningful to you. No problem there – if…

The scripture says that man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks on the heart. God’s checking out motives.  Perhaps in posting that good deed, your motive is to inspire others to give, to pray, and to go into the world and honor the Great Commission.  You and God know if that’s true, and that’s no one else’s place to judge.  If that’s your pure desire, post away!

On the other hand, perhaps the desired payoff is human admiration and approval, symbolized in “likes” and other emojified reactions – maybe even “loves!” The heart beats a little faster as the praise rolls in.  Congratulations!  You just received all the rewards you’re going to get for your service behaviors.

Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. 

Motive is a big deal.  The scripture talks about all the deeds that will be “burned up” in the end as “wood, hay, and straw.”  When rewards are being awarded at the end of our lives, our actions will be tested to see what they’re made of and why they were taken in the first place.

But if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each one’s work will be clearly shown [for what it is]; for the day [of judgment] will disclose it, because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality and character and worth of each person’s work. If any person’s work which he has built [on this foundation, that is, any outcome of his effort] remains [and survives this test], he will receive a reward. But if any person’s work is burned up [by the test], he will suffer the loss [of his reward]; yet he himself will be saved, but only as [one who has barely escaped] through fire. (I Corinthians 3: 12-15, Amplified Bible)

So back to our social media habits.  Maybe you are an individual who opens the entire book of your life on Facebook and other social media outlets.  Your choice about that is your choice, though the rest of us may cringe in embarrassment for you as you air dirty laundry.  However, the polar opposite can also be harmful.  Do you make sure to portray yourself as the paragons of service, of success, and of “to be envied?” Do those “likes” thrill your soul and cheer you on to your next public exploit? If someone scanned your site, is it all about you, you, you? Your motives are not my business, and if I’m reading to judge them, I’m in the wrong.  That’s between you and God.

However, may I just suggest that some things are better done in secret and offered up to the Lord as a private praise to Him?

Lord, may everything in my life honor YOU.  Lord, please deliver me from the temptation to seek the approval of people in lieu of the approval that counts – Yours.  It’s Your Voice I crave to hear in the end saying, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.”

I wrote about the dangers of pride not long ago, but I can’t get it off my mind.  When you have your eyes open to its dangers, you see it everywhere.  It rears its head in every news report, every family feud, every workplace war. Diagnosis without treatment isn’t very helpful, so I want to take our thoughts a step further this morning.

First, a recap.  Pride:  it’s a word that is often used positively, i.e., “Take some pride in your work,” or “Have pride in yourself.” I understand and appreciate those meanings; it’s like self-respect or conscientiousness. But pride can absolutely “go before a fall.” When you see yourself as above others, when you fail to recognize your own faults, or when you refuse to accept constructive feedback – that’s the pride that will take you nowhere good. I was struck by my reading in The Amplified Bible about the temptation of the pride of life.  When you look at the original meaning of that phrase, it’s ,defined as “the assurance of one’s own resources or in the stabiity of earthly things.” Anyone with any life experience at all knows those are shaky assumptions.  

Now to the solution.  It’s called humility.  Jesus said that humility is a necessary ingredient in greatness.  And I’ll warn you, fellow human beings, genuine humility is not easy to conjure up on your own.  For instance, Benjamin Franklin said that he systematically practiced developing all the virtues, but humility was the one where he experienced the most failure.  Every time he accomplished some humility, he got proud of it!

I’m convinced that Christ is the only One Who can help us get it all in correct perspectivie. He begins with a heart change, which slowly makes its way out into our beliefs and attitudes about ourselves and others.

Here are a few beliefs of a truly humble person. I’ve written them in first person in hopes that you will adopt them as your own.

1.  “I’m no better than anyone else.” God has assigned value to every one of the people He created for this planet.  Rich, poor, skinny, fat, brilliant, intellectually-challenged,  gregarious, introverted, creative, analytical…  Some of all of that includes me, but none of it marks me as “better.” I have no right to place myself above anyone else.
2.  “Whatever talents I have been given, along with them comes the responsibility to use them to make a difference to others.”  Gifts are not earned.  They are gifts.  God has distributed talents to me that are aligned with the assignments He has for me.  My God-given abilities are not justification for gloating or superiority.  They are tools for greater service.
3. “I need others, even and especially those who are different from me.”  God created the human body with parts of different appearance and function – all interdependent. He gave this miracle as a metaphor for how we are to function together (I Corinthians 12).  I was never meant to function alone.  “My kind” are not the best, and “my way” isn’t necessarily the right way.  I need the ideas, abilities, and knowledge of others who are not my clones.
4. “I want to learn about my blind spots, and I’m open to hear from others about them.” An openness to feedback about ways I can improve is an essential trait.  One of the most important questions I can have the courage to ask is,”What’s it like to be on the other side of me?” And I don’t need to bristle, defend, or even punch back when I hear it.
5. “I know that I am not in control.” I have surrendered the control of my life to God.  Others have been given free will, and I can’t make them do anything.  I can pray.  I can work on my part of making relationships and situations better.  But I am not in control.
6. “If I want to become an effective leader, I must become a servant.”  That’s what Jesus said when his disciples were quibbling about greatness.  When I lift others up, God will take care of me.  If I fail to humble myself, God will eventually do it for me.  James 4: 10 says, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.”

Jesus got it right.  (He “usually” does!) If you want to be great, you don’t try to convince others that you are.  You simply do all you can to help others flourish, grow, and succeed.  You lead by serving.

God please convict me when I am operating in pride.  I want to serve others and to glorify You, not myself, in the process.  I humbly come before You, knowing that I cannot do this in my own power.  I yield to Your work within me, Holy Spirit.  

So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever^[c] you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery…(Galatians 6: 16-19)

As God’s co-workers we urge you not to receive God’s grace in vain. For He says, “In the time of My favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you.I tell you, now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation. (II Corinthians 6: 1-2)

I’m working on a great project with 3 close friends.  We’ll be offering a subscription website for women who want to discover and passionately live their purpose in life.  It’s beautiful to see four women with different gifts and experiences working together in harmony toward important outcomes.  God made me creative, and I can come up with a “brilliant” new idea on the average of every 30 seconds.

Thankfully, others on the team remind me of practical issues like priorities, time, and resources.  One of the most important questions that my colleagues put on the table is, “When?”  By when?  What steps will need to be taken in order to make that happen at that time?  What will we do by the time of our meeting next week?

When?

It’s one of the most important questions you can answer.  The failure to do so results in procrastinated and unfulfilled goals floating around in your frustrated heart. How many of those are languishing on your “list,” getting carried over week after week. fueled by good intentions but not by actions.

Do these 3 things:

1.  Ask God if “that thing” is really something that He is assigning you to do. If it’s a good idea but not a God idea, let it go! If it is, go!
2. If it’s really important and something that you’re supposed to accomplish, break it down.  One of the biggest reasons for procrastination is that the task feels overwhelming.  Let your first action step be to divide the task up into bite-sized steps that are doable in small blocks of time.  Don’t do as I do sometimes and keep waiting for the big space on the calendar to free up so that I can “really concentrate on it.”  (Fat chance!)
3. Take some little step on that priority today. No matter how busy your schedule is this day, remember that it probably won’t be much better tomorrow.  I promise you, taking that first step is the hardest, and once you begin the journey, you’ll begin to experience momentum.

Someday becomes no day if you don’t actually begin.

God, please help me to discern Your callings from my own grand plans.  And when a task or project is in front of me that is either standing in the way of my growth or that will move me further down the road in making a difference, help me, please!  Give me the discipline, the courage, and the energy to move – today!

A friend loves at all times, and a brother (sister) is born for a time of adversity.  (Proverbs 17: 17)

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  (I Corinthians 13: 5-6)

What kind of friend are you?

Are you right there as long as it’s fun but scarce when it becomes difficult? Do you stick around as long as it’s “working for you,” and you’re getting something out of it – then leave when it’s not, and you’re not?

A true friend is loyal, loving “at all times.”  The “Love chapter,” I Corinthians 13, elaborates on what this really means:  “always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

That’s a tall order. Sometimes friendships are messy.  That friend of yours can veer off course, even derail.  He can get on your last nerve.  She can go through an extended period of “needy.”  He can make dumb decisions and then wonder why he got results he didn’t want.  She can go through a period of selfish and make everything about her.  No one ever said that lasting friendships are always easy.

Ancient wisdom shared for us in the Bible reminds you and me of a few principles.  Though you may possess an entirely different opinion from your friend, your job is to Love anyway.  (For me, Love with a capital L always means agape.) When troubles hit, even when they’re of your own friend’s making, you’re to keep on Loving.  Through thick and thin and across the years and despite hiccups and heartaches, keep on Loving your Friend. I’ve heard it said that a friend is a person who believes that when you’ve messed up, you haven’t done a permanent job of it.

If you have a few real friends, you are blessed. If you are a true friend, you are a true blessing.

God, I want to bless others by being a genuine friend.  That’s what’s in my heart.  Sometimes busy-ness gets in the way.  Lead me, Lord, to the people You want me to touch positively today and to the few You mean for me to go deeply with over time.  And most of all, my God, thank You for being my Covenant Friend.

Whoever digs a pit will fall into it;
    if someone rolls a stone, it will roll back on them. (Proverbs 26: 27)

I’ve seen it happen often in my clinical work as well as in my work in organizations.  It’s the fulfillment of a principle as old as King Solomon’s Proverbs (older) and as authoritative as Jesus’ words about sowing and reaping.  Whatever you “throw” out there, that’s what you’re likely to get back.  With a little metaphor mixing here, the nature of the seeds you plant into the ground and cultivate over time determines the nature of the crop.  The trap you try to set for someone else, you fall into it yourself.

We might call all of this “the boomerang effect.”  So how does a boomerang work?  When it’s  thrown correctly, a boomerang returns to its starting point. Two or more “arms” or “wings” are connected at an angle. Each wing is shaped as an airfoil which rotates, and as the boomerang moves through the air, this creates lift on both wings.  Then the lift causes the boomerang’s path to curve as an elliptical.  The boomerang returns to the thrower when it has been thrown correctly.

If you’re thinking about beginning a campaign to get even, remember, it’s going to boomerang on you.  If you have a plan for getting ahead that includes stepping on others to get there, you just increased the likelihood that others will try to step on you.  Maybe you are talking behind someone’s back and judging her because of a mistake she’s made.  Hang onto your hat.  Your day will come, and then people will gossip about you and judge you.

Whoever digs a pit will fall into it;
    if someone rolls a stone, it will roll back on them. (Proverbs 26: 27)

Thankfully, the principle also works in the positive direction.  When you habitually “throw” kindness, understanding, help, and love out to others, you will most often experience the same from others when you need them.  Oh, sure, some people can choose to be the exception.  Not every single person you love will choose to behave lovingly.  (Don’t worry.  The same thing happened to Christ.) However, the best way to create a life filled with positives is to consistently toss out positives from a genuine heart of love.

Boomerang!

Lord, may my attitudes and actions with others reflect what I want to get in return.  You said that we are to do unto others as we’d want them to do unto us.  King Solomon put the principle poignantly; any pit we dig is ultimately our own trap.  God, I choose to honor Your principles of Love in my dealings with people, even those who are trying to hurt me.  You are in control of me, and I trust You for the outcomes.

If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;
    if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head,
    and the Lord will reward you. (Proverbs 25: 21-22)

Do not gloat when your enemy falls;
    when they stumble, do not let your heart rejoice,
 or the Lord will see and disapprove
    and turn his wrath away from them. (Proverbs 24: 17-18)

We’re continuing our study of various Proverbs today and tomorrow.  We turn now to a tough subject.  What do you do when someone has harmed you, insulted you, created havoc for you?  Do you strike back, think of a plan to get even, or privately seethe and just wait expectantly to see that person fall?

Wise people don’t.  Why?  Because if you allow your emotions to become tied up in bitterness and thoughts/actions of revenge, that offending individual is now controlling you even more.  He or she had done something previously that robbed you of what  you valued.  However, giving that “perpetrator” place in your bitter heart simply hands that person even more power.  Is that really what you want to do?  Do you actually want to allow that particular individual to live rent-free in your head?

So what do you do instead?  (Fasten your spiritual seat belts.  This is hard.)  Find a way to do something nice for that individual.  Look for a way to provide for some need in his or her life.  The old saying goes, “Kill ’em with kindness.”  However, there’s a little problem with that saying. If you do it with the motive of “killing them,” you’ve missed the point altogether.  Further, if your goal is to heap coals of fire on their heads, go back to your prayer closet.  The scripture says that helpful acts will heap coals of fire, but it certainly doesn’t say that you should desire that outcome. You remain kind for your own healing and in obedience to Christ.  Oh, and while you’re at it, pray for that person.  Pray for him or her until your own heart is clean.

One more thing.  Reject secretly wishing for that difficult individual’s demise and refrain from doing an internal little happy dance when you hear that “he’s getting his.”  Mental vendettas harm you just as proactive ones do.

I’ll leave you with one more challenging thought from Abraham Lincoln:  “The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.”

My Lord, some people just seem to want to hurt others, and they are pretty hard to take.  Teach me and empower me to return good for evil.  I do not want my mind to be tainted with any bitterness.  I choose to turn it all over to You and to behave in ways consistent with Your principles and Your Love.  That individual is accountable to You, and I trust You to take care of it all.

A hot-tempered person must pay the penalty;
    rescue them, and you will have to do it again. (Proverbs 19: 19)

Whether you’re rescuing a person with a hot temper, an irresponsible money habit, or an alcohol or drug addiction – rescuing is a trap.  Don’t get caught in it. It only makes a situation worse.  You’ll be repeating the rescue over and over.

People learn by consequences.  If you don’t pay the power bill, the electric company turns off your lights.  If you’re mean to people, you’ll become isolated because folks withdraw from you.  If you’re hung over and don’t show up for work, the boss is going to be cranky and may even give you a “launch into new career opportunities.” It’s by consequences that you learn, “This isn’t working out for me. I’d better do it differently. I need to change.”

When you are constantly rescuing a person, you deprive them of the benefit of learning from consequences.   You feel the impact, but the person who needs to change does not.  You try to fix it all for someone you care about, but in the process, you either cripple him or you provide the resources and means for her to continue the same way. (In addiction circles, they call that enabling.)

In addition to the failure to “help” the person become more healthy and responsible, you destroy your own health in the process. The longer you remain in the rescuer role, you become more and more frustrated as you rescue some more and some more.  The other individual is slowly getting worse, and so are you.

No wonder King Solomon warned about rescuing!  If you saw yourself in this message, ask God for the courage to show caring with limits.  Allow the individual you care about to feel his or her own consequences and thus to have the opportunity to learn. Love deeply, but love tough.  Refuse to be a “helper” who actually hurts the person you love.

God, please give me Your wisdom in my dealings with people I care about who are less than responsible individuals.  Holy Spirit, sound an alarm in my spirit when I am trying to do Your job.  Forgive me when I unintentionally support in others the patterns that are destroying them.  Rescue me, Lord, from being  “rescuer.”